Being overweight was normal for me. There was a time when I was conscious of my food choices to the degree that White Castle was no longer a desire. Today I keep a six pack in my freezer. I used to be a regular fixture at the local gym – doing cardio, taking step classes, lifting weights, playing racquetball and regular pool activities – to keep my body lean, toned and pleasing to look at. Now the only exercise I get is walking from my house to the car, parking away from the entrance of the supermarket and occasional restaurant visits and taking a shower – by the way I avoid the bathroom mirror’s imagery of all the blubber as often as possible. It is time for a makeover.
The normalcy of being a fat, middle-aged graduate student perplexes me to the nth degree. Self-loathing is inconsequential as I do my best to keep up a positive outlook everywhere I go. Most of the time it is because I am living the Conqueror Lifestyle which keeps me Spiritually fit. But lately I am struggling with my lack of physical fitness which is apparent to everyone I come in contact with as well. Those I encounter are met with a dichotomous interaction with a sober, Spiritual core that is housed in a body that is diabolically unfit. My experience with “let your light so shine before men”(Matthew 5:16) is congruent with realizing that people are not inundated by my good works but rather the un-pleasingly plump persona present in the room.
Now I must admit I am hanging in some pretty “nice” circles because no one has said anything to me about being overweight. They appear to be accepting of who I am. Some are even complimentary about my appearance in the clothes I choose to wear. However, lately I am really feeling strange and, at times, invisible in some of the locations I visit. It is as if people don’t see me. I have honestly NEVER felt this before. Prayer with introspection became as regular as inhaling.
“Lord, what is this I am feeling?” is where my prayers began. Upon further self-examination I became tearfully aware of how miserable I am with all the weight I am carrying. Then afterwards, I proceeded to eat 2 hot dogs – mustard, sauerkraut, relish -, pork and beans seasoned to perfection, a plate of french fries and a steamed White Castle double-cheeseburger. I washed it all down with my signature flavored sparkling water and diet cherry-pomegranate mixed drink on ice. Late night snacking on a daily basis coupled with an overdose of fried foods was my flesh’s way of coping. All of my deceased, overweight family members began to come to mind. In my family, food is an emotional product capable of supplying instant gratification that kills! We willingly consume it and all it’s perilous derivatives – diabetes, heart disease, stroke, esophageal varices and obesity.
Eating is no longer satisfying to me. In fact, I am at the point where I’d rather not eat. The toxicity in my stomach and small intestines which compels me to put sugar, salt and empty calories in my body frightens me. I eat because I have to not because I want to. Upon further honest appraisal of my appetite, while in constant conversations with Jesus Christ my Savior, I began to explore alternatives I could afford. Being on disability does not afford me the luxury of many current weight loss outfits out there. Look for another article on how difficult it is to eat right on a fixed income another time with solutions the Lord gives me. By God’s grace I became willing to invest in my future by committing to using a product a friend introduced me to last month that I will share later on. In conjunction with this product, I am also a believer in Dr. Ian Smith’s “Clean and Lean” brand. It is a system I choose to implement as I re-establish my eating habits over the next 2 months.
I am not on a diet. Since I am a child of the 70’s & 80’s, I watched the diet industry develop into what it is today. I believe in the Oprah declaration “diets do NOT work!” Today is the 1st day of my dietary makeover. I have eaten one meal today and I awakened at 6:30 am. After seeing it in action with my roommates for years, I am now a regular at making smoothies. Yes I have a particular product I am using as a meal supplement twice a day to get my body healthy again. It is AMAZING! I have not felt hunger all day. I drink water, I eat almonds as snacks and I am “walking by faith; not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). I believe the Lord sent me the answer by way of the product I am using.
I now believe being overweight is NOT normal. For me it is sinful! Gluttony, greed and sloth have kept me in bondage to food for far too long! For the record I read “Clean and Lean” in 1 day last month. I joined the FB group and posted my trepidation on 2 occasions which were met with much encouragement and empathy. The food costs are high and I need to begin stockpiling “Clean and Lean” foods little by little. Here is where my budding smoothie lifestyle is the first phase of my dietary makeover. It is my hope that I will continue to add this content to ConquerorShots as it is further proof that #LiveTCL is an effective Christian lifestyle. “…The Lord is the strength of my life…”(Psalm 27:1) and in Him will I trust. I know this is another leg of my life’s journey He has me on and as long as I remain connected to His power “I am more than a conqueror through Him that loved me.” The joy is in the journey!